It's amazing how things can change so quickly, and how little things make a difference in the overall picture. In the last few months, I have- Got a boyfriend, quit biting my fingernails, and quit smoking. In the last little bit over a year, I have done all of that and quit drinking. And it's small little situations, things that people would consider to be trivial, that have made these bigger things happen. That's why it is so important to consider every move that you make, even the smallest of actions. You don't know how it is going to affect yourself or those around you, or maybe even people that you don't even know yet.

I haven't had a cigarette for 51 and a half hours, as my boyfriend and I decided to quit together. A half hour after I quit smoking, I hit a deer and fucked up my car a little bit. Luckily, I wasn't in my good car, so I'm not too worried about it. The day after we quit smoking, my boyfriend had a tire blow out on him. And then at the beginning of day three, I started ragging for the first time in the last three months, since that shit only happens every three months. As you can see, our patience (especially mine) is really being tested through all of this. We made it through all of this, so we should be good to go when the trials are all over, so to speak.

As I sit here looking at a picture of my boyfriend, I think about how I finally have everything that I want. I think that it's some karma for all of the good things that I've done, and how I've been so nice through all of the adversity that I have faced. No matter how mean people have been to me, or how bad things have got, I have remained a good person. And I think that I am being rewarded now, finally. I got the car I wanted, then my tattoo fixed my problem with my fucked up shoulders (so I feel normal in that way now), and now I finally have the guy that I want (and he is everything that I have ever wanted, on the inside and outside). It almost feels like I am in a dream state, you know? If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up...