I'm over my fear of having my blood drawn, finally! They took five whole tubes today, and it didn't make me dizzy at all. Maybe it was because I was all in weird tunnel mode, because I had been up for so long, but whatever it was, it worked. I used to not even be able to let people take one whole tube of blood, but I've gotten over it in the last few years, apparently. It really makes me feel different to not have that fear anymore, kinda like when I got over my fear of flying last year. It's like I've made so much progress over the last few years, so many things have changed, even though it seems like so many things have stayed the same.

I was thinking about going over to Wally World and getting some new foundation and stuff, since I'm out of the good stuff. I'm using a backup bottle right now, stuff that I don't really want to wear. As I was watching tv and thinking about it, I thought that perhaps I should get a tinted moisturizer or something, instead of foundation. Buy a little bit of correction stick for under my eyes, since I tend to have dark circles under those. I guess that I want to be stunning the next time I see Mr.G, and I really don't do a very good job of taking care of myself sometimes. The shit that I put my face through it horrible, it really is. It used to be the same for my hair, but now I only color it a couple of times a year and don't even use hairspray or anything on it now.

I guess that I figure that I need to get myself together a little bit more, and maybe try to get to the point where I don't have to wear actually thick foundation on my face. I'm always going to have my eyeliner the same way, that's my trademark, but I could do without all of the thickness on my face, if I can get my face to do a little bit better. I think that I might go have my scars removed sometime within the next few months, since that would help the process of changing my face so much. I didn't care about this shit before, so you know that Mr.G has to be something special. -smile-

But I'm not stressing, I'm keeping a low profile and keeping it cool. Carefully plotting every move, executing them with the utmost of precision. It feels good to relax and not worry so much, that's something that I've needed to do for a long time. There are just some things (and people) that you can't rush. Other people have a lot more of a life (social and work) than I do, you know? I can't try to monopolize all of his time, that would be a deadly mistake. Once I'm in an actual relationship, I don't need to be constantly with that person, and I don't worry about it this much. But as I've mentioned, it's just the uncertainty thing that makes me wish that I could take to him every day. However, a new approach is currently going on, another welcome change into the way that things are.

I don't know if I feel like getting dressed and throwing makeup on or not. I really hate to go to Walmart without makeup, even at this hour. I didn't have any makeup on this morning at that blood drawing thing I had to do, and I had on a hat and sunglasses to cover it up, like those celebs that don't want to be seen. The main problem is the whole getting dressed and going out in the cold thing, which is something that I really don't feel like doing. Takes effort to get dressed, takes effort to go out in the cold, takes effort to drive about six miles to Wally World. I could do all that tomorrow after work, though I do admit that I am pretty damn bored right now. I'll probably end up watching Brokeback Mountain again tonight or something, I haven't watched that since the first time I watched it, so it's about time again.

I'm rather worn out, don't feel much up to the coordination required to play EQ2, though I might do so anyway a bit later. It's a good thing that I work the rest of the week, as I don't so shit whenever I have days off, especially days off close together or two days off in a row. I tell you what though, if Mr.G calls me this weekend, I'll be bribing motherfuckers to try to leave work early. Yeah, he's yet another one of those guys that have normal work days, whereas I have to work on the weekends. My job can be a pain in the ass inconvenience sometimes, but I still like it. I'll have had this job for exactly two years on this coming up Sunday.

Edit: Anyone else out there use Gtalk or Skype? Was thinking about trying those out, if people actually used them. I know that not a damn person around here uses the new thing Meetro, so I ditched it.