I went out tonight, though I was pissed off from the moment I got into the first bar. And I thought that tonight was going to be a good night. Even though it started out bad, it turned out to be alright, I suppose. Someone pissed me off by saying something about me behind my back, so I pulled aside an aquaintance of mine that was also aquainted with the people in that group. I basically told him that everyone better watch their mouth, or someone is going to get their head knocked off. Which I would hate to do, since I'm afraid that when I seriously get into a fight, that I am goind to hurt someone very badly. Yes, like halfway kill them.
I have so much rage built up inside of me, from elementary school until now. All of the torment, just sitting there, constantly being shoved down. I hate to see what happens when that finally blows up. That's why I try to be careful with my temper, because eventually, something really bad is going to happen to someone that pisses me off. I'd hate to go to jail or prison because of some idiot that pissed me off, so it's good that I have the ability to control it. But really though, I was about ready to lose my fucking marbles, and that person is lucky that I didn't see exactly who they are.
Anyway, on to lighter things... I'm getting ready to start talking to a nice boy. Well, I don't exactly know how it's going to go, but I'm going to at least try to be friends with him. He's a little young (nineteen) and he's the son of a preacherman, so we'll see. He'd be a nice one to slowly get into things with, and I really do think that he's a good boy. Some preachers sons have a rep for being bad boys, but I really don't think that this boy is. He's really nice and super cute, but we'll see how it goes. I don't even know what he thinks of older girls yet, so I'll have to keep you posted.
It's pretty bad when I want to come back home to play Everquest 2, instead of staying up at the bars. I need to find somewhere else to go, seriously. Athens has been pissing me off for a while now. I don't want to go to Huntington or Charleston, because the further south I go, the more rednecks I run into. Especially in Huntington, you're going to have all of the Kentucky people from across the way. I really like Columbus, but it's one hundred fucking miles. Once a week might be decent, but I think that I would still be pissed off that I had to drive all of the way up there to do something fun. It would still agitate me, that's a super long drive, and at the time I would probably be getting up there- it would be some super shitty traffic.
Before this gets into another "I hate this fucking place" rant, we'll move on. I don't know why all of the people in Athens seem so different than I am. I still feel like I'm an alien, and it's not just because I'm older than them. I've always felt that way, everywhere I go, but especially there. It's like everyone else is mean and stupid or something, you know? I swear, that's almost what it seems like when I'm up there. I'm intelligent and nice, I guess that I expect others to be that way, which shouldn't be too much to ask!
But noooo, they judge you before they even hear a word come out of your mouth. On the internet, everyone is better about that type of shit, because all we have on here is our words. Internet people can be assholes if they disagree with your opinions, but at least they have based it on your words and not your looks. In person, people judge you because of your looks, and that alone. I know I look good, so I don't see what the problem is with some of the people up there. I'm a little bit alternative looking, some might try to classify me as goth, which I'm not. But I know that I look like shit without my makeup, so there's no way that I'm going out without it.
And remember that I'm a realist. I don't want to hear any "I bet you look fine without your makeup", because I know that is soooo not true. I'm not delusional, I know how I look without it, and that's why I put it on so thickly. And then people have an issue with how skinny I am, and they don't even know that it isn't my fault that I can't gain weight. That's what the fuss was over earlier tonight, actually. And I explained everything to my aquaintance, so hopefully he passed it on to those assholes. Bad hormones and fast metabolism equals a person being really skinny. However, I have gained a few pounds recently, so I'm happy.
But I think that is because I'm going to be ragging next week, so that kinda sucks. Yeah, I got my symptom a day or so ago, so I'm going to be super hateful very soon. Glad that shit only happens two or three times a year, I wouldn't be able to handle it more than that, I'd run out of places to bury the bodies. My EQ2 server is on break, so here I am, writing this. I'll be able to play again in 45 minutes, wheee. Yeah, I'm a geek. I don't know what I am going to do about nine hours from now. I would like to perhaps go shopping, but I doubt that I am going to be able to sleep and then wake up to do that. If I have two days off in a row, there is a 100% chance that I will fuck up my sleep schedule, reeeally badly.
I have so much rage built up inside of me, from elementary school until now. All of the torment, just sitting there, constantly being shoved down. I hate to see what happens when that finally blows up. That's why I try to be careful with my temper, because eventually, something really bad is going to happen to someone that pisses me off. I'd hate to go to jail or prison because of some idiot that pissed me off, so it's good that I have the ability to control it. But really though, I was about ready to lose my fucking marbles, and that person is lucky that I didn't see exactly who they are.
Anyway, on to lighter things... I'm getting ready to start talking to a nice boy. Well, I don't exactly know how it's going to go, but I'm going to at least try to be friends with him. He's a little young (nineteen) and he's the son of a preacherman, so we'll see. He'd be a nice one to slowly get into things with, and I really do think that he's a good boy. Some preachers sons have a rep for being bad boys, but I really don't think that this boy is. He's really nice and super cute, but we'll see how it goes. I don't even know what he thinks of older girls yet, so I'll have to keep you posted.
It's pretty bad when I want to come back home to play Everquest 2, instead of staying up at the bars. I need to find somewhere else to go, seriously. Athens has been pissing me off for a while now. I don't want to go to Huntington or Charleston, because the further south I go, the more rednecks I run into. Especially in Huntington, you're going to have all of the Kentucky people from across the way. I really like Columbus, but it's one hundred fucking miles. Once a week might be decent, but I think that I would still be pissed off that I had to drive all of the way up there to do something fun. It would still agitate me, that's a super long drive, and at the time I would probably be getting up there- it would be some super shitty traffic.
Before this gets into another "I hate this fucking place" rant, we'll move on. I don't know why all of the people in Athens seem so different than I am. I still feel like I'm an alien, and it's not just because I'm older than them. I've always felt that way, everywhere I go, but especially there. It's like everyone else is mean and stupid or something, you know? I swear, that's almost what it seems like when I'm up there. I'm intelligent and nice, I guess that I expect others to be that way, which shouldn't be too much to ask!
But noooo, they judge you before they even hear a word come out of your mouth. On the internet, everyone is better about that type of shit, because all we have on here is our words. Internet people can be assholes if they disagree with your opinions, but at least they have based it on your words and not your looks. In person, people judge you because of your looks, and that alone. I know I look good, so I don't see what the problem is with some of the people up there. I'm a little bit alternative looking, some might try to classify me as goth, which I'm not. But I know that I look like shit without my makeup, so there's no way that I'm going out without it.
And remember that I'm a realist. I don't want to hear any "I bet you look fine without your makeup", because I know that is soooo not true. I'm not delusional, I know how I look without it, and that's why I put it on so thickly. And then people have an issue with how skinny I am, and they don't even know that it isn't my fault that I can't gain weight. That's what the fuss was over earlier tonight, actually. And I explained everything to my aquaintance, so hopefully he passed it on to those assholes. Bad hormones and fast metabolism equals a person being really skinny. However, I have gained a few pounds recently, so I'm happy.
But I think that is because I'm going to be ragging next week, so that kinda sucks. Yeah, I got my symptom a day or so ago, so I'm going to be super hateful very soon. Glad that shit only happens two or three times a year, I wouldn't be able to handle it more than that, I'd run out of places to bury the bodies. My EQ2 server is on break, so here I am, writing this. I'll be able to play again in 45 minutes, wheee. Yeah, I'm a geek. I don't know what I am going to do about nine hours from now. I would like to perhaps go shopping, but I doubt that I am going to be able to sleep and then wake up to do that. If I have two days off in a row, there is a 100% chance that I will fuck up my sleep schedule, reeeally badly.
posted by Unknown @ 5:18 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home