It seems like I can't rely on anyone to help me do anything, as far as moving the fuck out of here goes, so I have decided to do it all by my damn self. There has been two times this year that I was supposed to have moved out of this hellhole, but I have been let down both times, by friends. So because of this, I have decided to save up the money, and move to Las Vegas in August. It's all on me, it's up to me to do it, and I can do it all by myself.

It's just that time, you know? I've never done anything by myself, except vacation in Vegas this year, and I need to do something on my own. It wasn't really that bad being in Vegas by myself for my birthday when I was out there, so I can handle living out there by myself, for sure. I would go through CraigsList dot org to find a place to live, with a roomate, but that's as far as I'm going to rely on other people. Nobody from here is going to go with me or help me, and I don't need them to.

There is someone that I met out in Vegas this year, and he is going to help give me advice about things, but that's all that I need from him. He has offered to let me rent a room in his house that he is going to buy, but we'll see how that goes. I don't need him to, but if we stay in good contact until then, we'll see where it goes. I'm confident that I can do this, I just never thought that I could before, and that's what has stopped me.

I always thought that it would be too hard to save up enough money to get the fuck out of here, but I have decided that I can have about four thousand or more dollars by then, which will be plenty. My friend from there says that you have to have about two to three thousand, and that there are lots of jobs, so I know I'll be able to make it with four thousand. And I want to have my car shipped out there, so I have to add in some extra money for that, as there is no fucking way that I am going to drive all the way out there by myself. I fucking hate driving, so that shit isn't going to happen.

When I am determined to do something, I have always been able to do it, as long as it's physically possible for me. This is all a mental task, as well as a task of not spending money until then. I'm only going to smoke on my days off, one pack a day, and am not going to buy food or anything else while I'm out. I can eat at home, I don't need to buy anything while I'm out. I did have a friend of mine offer to pay for dinner tonight, so that's the only reason that I ate while I was out tonight. Otherwise, I wasn't going to eat until I got home, even though I was damn hungry.

Once I get out there, things will be a breeze. I'll probably start out with being a drink girl at a casino, and applying to the prisons around there, since they make some nice salary. If I don't get the prison job (which I should), then I shall go to bartending or card dealer school, not sure which yet. And though all of this time, I will be networking to find someone to be my partner in buying a bar, as that is the one thing that I have wanted to do for a long time. After you get a bar going, you never have to work again after the profits start rolling in. After I get the cash rolling in, I can be a professional poker player. Hell, I haven't even been playing poker recently, as I haven't wanted to spend any of my money. It's probably been a month or so since I've played.

I just wanted to drop a quick line to update you on all of that, since I was all cryptic about the whole moving thing, that's what I've been talking about for the last few entries. It all fell through, as usual, so that's why my decision to move to my favorite place in the country has come about. I'm really not in a typing mood right now, as I just want to relax, since I've been trying to work more to save up more money. I had today (as in Wednesday) off, and I shall have tomorrow (as in Thursday) off, and then it's work work work the rest of the week.

Edit: I also want to give a biiiiig thank you to John, for getting the Post Secret book for me off of my wishlist. I'm switching over to the Think Geek wishlist again really soon, since I can't find anything else decently priced to put on the Amazon wishlist. Big hugs to John, thank you very much. :)